Relapse regret

Recently, one of our kids was at an event where another couple who had taken the Parenting the Love and Logic Way™ class that we facilitated was present.  Our daughter reported to us with mock horror that the couple had regressed to "counting"!  You know, "get over here by the time I count to three ... One, Two, Two and a half ..." kind of counting.

What do you do as a parent when you fall off the wagon, especially if you've gone through the class and are really trying to change the way you behave as a parent and your relationship with your child?  Throw in the towel?  Of course not.  Nobody is perfect so don't expect to be.  If you relapse in your skills, just let it go and fix it the next time.  There will always be a next time  ;)

If you would like some more tips on how to deal with kids and summer, check out what Charles Fay has to say in this week's Insider's Club post below.

Insider's Club Tip

The hard way

What do you think works better ... telling your child something is a bad idea or letting them find out on their own? 

Our daughter learned that lesson the other day.  For her birthday, we gave her some cash and let her go shopping with some of her friends.  There was a certain store she wanted to go to because it's the "cool" store that all the popular kids go to.  We thought the store was all glitz and no substance with much of the clothing inappropriate for young ladies and certainly not up to school dress codes.  But it was her money to spend.

A few days later, she was decided there was a couple things she did not want so she would return them.  When she got to the store, she got a big surprise and not the good kind.  The store does not return any item for cash back.  You can exchange an item if defective (the button on one of the shirts she bought fell off before she even took the tags off) or they will put the balance on a gift card but no money back.  Wow.  She was crushed and is now on a crusade to warn others about such restrictive return policies.

Sometimes the hardest thing you can ever do is keep your mouth shut.  It took all our willpower not to say "I told you so."  But by holding our tongue, her anger was directed where it should be.  What would have happened if we had not let her shop there?  She would blame us for not letting her do what the cool kids do.  If we warned her about the store, then she would have blamed us for letting her shop somewhere that might cause her to lose money. 

Was the lesson worth the price?  Well truly, we are the ones who lost the money but what will she do in the future?  Will she buy something without checking the return policy?  Will she do a little research into the integrity of the businesses she shops at?  Will she pay more attention to her money and where it goes so when her friends are all broke she is doing well?  From that perspective, it's a worthwhile price.

Maybe they learn too well

We were sitting in the kitchen and our two oldest kids were arguing about something.  It seems like they are cats and dogs they way they can bicker about the stupidest things.  I could tell the younger one was tiring of the whole thing and realized nothing was going to penetrate the thick skull of her older brother and her next response was, "I love you too much to argue."

Now granted, she was already in the middle of an argument and it didn't come out with near enough empathy but I think she's catching on! 

This week Charles has a message about the balance between freedom and self-control.  You can read it here.

Thanks for reading.